Europe Has Things America Doesn’t, A Comparative Analysis

Europe has things America doesn’t and sometimes they are funny. Not that the absurdity of a soccer mom driving a Hummer doesn’t make me laugh, because believe me, it incites quite the chortle. And hey America has K-Fed, ABC’s The Bachelor, and Danielle Steel novels (sorry Mom, Julie, and Jenny) to bring the comedy to a whole new level. But Europe has some humorous (and possibly intelligent) alternatives.

America has SUV’s and other heavy artillery-hauling vehicles

Europe has Smart Cars

(Ok this one is not funny. It's actually...uh...smart, for lack of a better word)

America has money that is one color

Europe has an easy-to-use-if-you’re-illiterate, color-coded monetary system

America has toilets and toilet paper

Europe has bidets and real towels for wiping
(which seems neither funny nor intelligent to me but that one is up for debate)

America has Exit signs that say “exit”

Europe has Exit signs that have a man running away from a date gone bad

Tuna, Cod, and Salmon Too

It’s comforting to see that Red Lobster is “now featuring the freshest fish.” What, I am afraid to ask, were they serving six months ago?

Memo to the Lady at the Bank

Memorandum

To: Lady at the Bank

From: Mar

CC: My Adoring Blog Readers

Date: 10/2/2007
Re: Your Annoying Phone

Effective immediately, when your phone rings and plays Elton John's Don't Let the Sun Go Down as you do DAYS worth of banking while the line continues to stack up behind you, don't merely look at your purse emitting the sound and push it two inches away from you on the counter. THAT WILL, IN FACT, ONLY MAKE IT MORE ANNOYING!

mf