27 June 2008

Breastfeeding 101

Last Monday I attended a breastfeeding class at LDS Hospital in hopes of learning techniques to ensure that my child will be well-fed and happy. Those of you who don’t have children and probably don’t have siblings with children are saying, “Weird/Eww/Gross, they teach breastfeeding classes?” Yes they do and I can say that after reading the books and going to the class, that it's not something I would have known how to do on my own so thank you IHC for the not-free classes.

I was the only one there that did not bring a support person of some kind. Not about to make Ben go with me to something like that, I didn’t feel bad. In order for him to be supportive, I will teach him things I learned and let him do his fatherly thing but I won’t make him sit through two and a half hours of nipple discussion and practicing latch on with a Cabbage Patch doll.

Every woman, except for one, brought her husband. Exception girl brought her mom who was visiting from out of town. That’s fine. I am sure she was being as supportive as possible by coming to the class. Mom, however, became the class party pooper instantly. Upon the instructor informing us that breastfeeding is beneficial in many ways to women, especially because it reduces the risk of breast cancer, pooper raises her hand and says, “Well I breastfed five kids and I still got breast cancer.” Turning herself into the rule rather than the exception, she basically told all the wide-eyed first-time mothers in the room that if we breastfeed, we will, in fact, get breast cancer. I wanted to throw my Cabbage Patch doll at her and tell her to shut it. And apparently, so did the nurse teaching the class. She calmly, yet firmly replied, “Congratulations on beating breast cancer, but I only said it reduces the risk; it doesn’t eliminate it completely.” Score for the mammary teacher!

Since the mom/daughter feeding team was sitting next to me, I could hear the mother’s constant side notes to her daughter during the instruction and the video. “Oh I didn’t do that…that doesn’t work.” “That hurts—I wouldn’t do it that way.” Thank you, Milk Maid, but we came to learn from a lactation nurse with knowledge of current research and breastfeeding methods, not from the woman who last breastfed in the days when babies were spanked right after emerging from the hopper.

The other winner in the class was the girl who said she was afraid to buy a nursing bra. I guess I can see how little clips at the top of the bra cups can really stress you out.

6 comments:

Natalie said...

This post would have been much better had you thrown your doll at Debbie Downer.

Stephanie said...

it is true, the post would have been better had some one been injured.

my favorite part, though, was calling the annoying mother "milk maid"

so clever.

Gates Family said...

Good blog, Mar! Love the know-it-alls...

Jen said...

Oh the joys! The true test to see if you passed the class is if you can actually nurse this baby when she finally makes her appearance. What do Cabbage Patch Dolls know?

mommy dearest said...

Nice

gurrbonzo said...

Don't forget that your hub can feed the baby too.

http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/miscarticles/milkmen.html