16 July 2009

I Need a Kitty Flap and a Nap

People who equate raising kids to having a dog ought to be slapped. More than once. While chatting once with a childless friend, the conversation went as follows:

Me: We love our baby. She's hilarious. But life's not the same. We can't pick up and just go out of town for the weekend anymore.

Childless friend: Yeah I know how it is. Now that we have a dog, we can't just go out of town anymore either. I mean we have to find somebody to feed her and take her outside and play with her.

Wow. Looks like you should have seriously considered the life-changing event that is having a dog. Hiring a 10-year-old neighbor kid to come over once a day to feed the dog, take it outside, and generally make sure it's still breathing must be rough!

I can only imagine the heyday that social services would have with me if I decided to go only as far as the mall while I left my kid in a doggy bed with a squeaker toy and the automatic feeder set to shoot food out of itself three times a day. Hell, maybe I'll get Ben to cut a kitty flap into our front door so The Bean can crawl in an out at will while I take a nap. If I could just leave her home during church to run around in the yard and catch gnats in her teeth, that would really bring some solitude back to my Sabbath worship. Next time I want to go out for a walk, I'll save myself the hassle of the stroller, the sippy cup, the toys, the toddler sunscreen, and the obnoxious hat and just put her on a leash and let her drag ME around the block.


gurrbonzo said...

ACK! Bahahaha.

Once my friend left work in a panic bc her roommate called her to ask where the dog was. (Turns out the dog was downstairs sleeping, but the roommate didn't see her). So, my friend rushed home in a panic and was crying and thought her dog got ran over, and told me: "Can you IMAGINE!? That's like if something happened to your daughter!"

Um, no. It's not.

Bc dogs and humans are different.

Carly said...

Well said, Mar. But I really do feel for those who have TWO dogs. I mean, what do they do when they are both barking at the same time?

Julie said...

Amen, Mar. We went camping last night with the Elder's Quorum. One couple came up to just have dinner and make s'mores. I think she told me three times that they couldn't stay over because they have a dog, plus I overheard her repeatedly telling others the same thing. I wanted to smack her and tell her the stupid dog would've been fine overnight; just leave out plenty of food!