I Gave Birth and Other Things I Learned This Week

Yes, the wait is over. Our baby is here. No, I won't post pictures on this blog--it's not that kind of blog. If you would like pictures, you can email me and I will send them. If you don't know me or my email address, then I won't be able to send you pictures and that's probably why I am not posting them on my blog. I am sure that everybody on the internet is *totally normal* but once again, it's not that kind of blog. And as my dad maintains, "Once it's on the internet it's permanent and you can't take it down."

Rest assured that she is pretty much the cutest baby I have ever seen and it still seems surreal that I have a baby complete with a car seat, the good baby smell, and crying in the middle of the night.

And now, on to other things I have learned this week:

1. I can and did take a lot of pain during my labor until I got my meds, but all you natural birthers out there are tough.
2. Having a baby will lower your standards of cleanliness significantly but hopefully only for a little while.
3. There really isn't time to shower, at least in the beginning. I never got why the mothers on the TLC reality makeover shows never had time to get ready but now I see why. I eventually squeeze mine in but here I am at 9pm and I just got out of the shower. Much like Number 1 above, I assume it will only be this way for a little while.
4. I never thought I would be excited to see so many poopy diapers in my life. Apparently, poop means she's well-fed.
5. Not every woman can lactate and don't let the Lactation Station make you feel bad if you can't.
6. Birth is the coolest experience ever.
7. I'm an overly protective parent but I also assume that will mellow out.
8. My husband makes up words to lullabies because he knows absolutely no lyrics to any song ever written.
9. Powdered milk and other mixed drinks are really expensive during your first year of life.
10. I am actually proud to walk around the block pushing a baby stroller. I can't believe I would ever say/admit that. But here I am.

"The Passion is Raw but the Hot Dogs are Cooked"

With Independence Day comes fireworks, BBQs, parades, festivities, camping, and Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island, NY seen only on ESPN. Since 1916, people from 'round the world have been gathering to down as many hot dogs as they can in an allotted amount of time. Oddly becoming a viewing tradition in our home, the hot dog eating contest has never been more exciting than it was this year. Not really an avid fan of the "sport," I watch it for the commentary, because phrases like, "The passion is raw but the hot dogs are cooked," and, "He's just an all around great eater," only come out on the 4th of July.

Overheard at this year's contest:

• "That was the most exciting finish in all of sport."
• "These guys attack hot dogs like Lindsay Lohan attacks a mini bar."
• "'The Black Widow' is the cheesecake eating champion of the world. Let's see how she takes on the hot dogs."
• "This really is an endurance sport."
• "That last dog was a photo finish."
• "We have a tie to be settled by a five-dog eat off."

Lessons learned at this year's contest:

• This "sport" is actually called Competitive Eating
• There is an International Federation of Competitive Eating (IFOCE)
• The timed contest used to be 12 minutes, it's now only 10
• Dipping the bun in water makes it go down faster
• Those who qualify for the hot dog eating contest are generally world champions of some other food eating contest, namely, ice cream, cheesecake, cranberry sauce, and seared cow brains, to name a few
• Despite being a six-time hot dog eating champion of the world, coloring your hair with ketchup and mustard won't secure the win. Better luck next year my Japanese hot-dog-eating friend

Memorandum Monday, Posted on Tuesday: Harshin' my Mellow

Memorandum
To: S'more Bloggers
From: Mar
CC: My Adoring Blog Readers
Date: 6/30/2008
Re: Your Spelling Habits

For all of you who find it necessary to post about your trip up the canyon to roast weinies and make whatever version of S'mores you find necessary to share on your blog, those squishy white things you put in the middle of the S'mores are spelled Marshmallow, not Marshmellow.

Please ensure that subsequent posts, because we know you can't go up the canyon just once, contain the proper spelling in order to keep my blood pressure down.