Natalie, who adores me, my blog, and my ability to IM her all day while we are at work, read my last Memorandum and suggested that I make my memos more frequent, such as a “Memorandum Monday.” So I have decided to start the aforementioned segment and title it just as Natalie said. She can have the credit and if the segment fails, she can take the blame.
Memorandum
To: The Mispronouncing Citizens of this Nation
From: Mar
CC: My Adoring Blog Readers
Date: 6/2/2008
Re: Mispronunciations A-Go-Go
It has come to my attention over the years that many of you are mispronouncing the easiest of English words. As of today, it will no longer be tolerated. Words such as ibuprofen, February, and Wednesday will be overlooked because, regardless of their spelling, they have been mispronounced for ages and trying to fix that would be akin to converting to the metric system in the US.
Words, however, which are said as they are spelled will be recorded as a strike against you and will be reflected on your permanent record. Please refer to the following list, which is not comprehensive, nor in any order. Except the first three, which are so annoying that if said, you will incur double the strikes on your record.
Nuclear – not nuc-yaler
(Despite what Bush says)
Escape – not ex-scape
(I wonder if people are referring to some extreme landscaping competition in the X Games)
Especially – not ex-specially
(Sounds like something that used to be special and no longer holds such status)
Keep track – not keep tract
(What?)
Ask – not aks
(Are you a contestant on Flava of Love? Speaking of said show, while flipping through channels last night, Ben and I actually heard a girl on Flava of Love refer to her kids as, “My’s skids”)
Height – not heighth
(It’s just not a word)
Florida – not Flar-ida
(I realize this is a regional accent thing in the US but it's intolerable)
Another – not nother
(As in “a whole nother hamburger”)
Prerogative – not perogative
(Thank you Bobby Brown for popularizing this word among teenagers in the early ‘90s, however nobody can say it correctly)
As stated above, this list is not comprehensive and can be amended at any time. If you would like to contribute to this list, please do so in the comments field below.
It's not political. It's not controversial. It's just what I think about.
13 comments:
I'm pretty effin' brilliant. And, I'm glad that I am the first person to post on this comment so everything can see me use the word effin'... twice.
Oh.. and I concur. Brilliant post! We should go into business together. Could we make a business that was solely dedicated to us sitting around and complaining about other people and their annoying habits?
pick me! pick me! i've got one.
Photography - not furtography
I couldn't agree more. I had to live with "heighth" at Jostens for 5+ years. I tried to tell the dumb ladies it wasn't "heighth" because then would weight be "weighth", right? I know I have a million more to add to your list. I'll get back to you when I come across such stupidity.
HEIGTH and EX-SPECIALLY make me barf.
I also hate "patriarticle."
heighth. I've never actually heard anyone say "heigth" like I wrote above. Heighth. Though I have seen a wedding invitation with "eighth" spelled "eigth" and it made me sad inside.
Natalie: If we could get paid to complain, that would be lucrative.
Jodi: Furtography is SUCH a Utah pronunciation. Thanks for sharing that one.
Jen: Thank you for remembering me when you come across stupidity.
Gurrbonzo: No barfing on my blog. Just on those that say things incorrectly. Also, SAD about the misspelling on the wedding invite. Just try to attend it on the date of the correct spelling and then you won't have to go to the wedding at all. Sort of like the 10th of Never.
I'll stop being a comment hog in a moment, and they're not mispronunciations so maybe they belong on a different memorandum, but how about when people say, "No pun intended" and there was no pun? Or "How ironic!" when there was no irony?
Gurr: Comment all you want. It makes me look popular on the internets.
Well Gurrbonzo opened a totally new can with the comment about "no pun intended." That reminds me of how silly and also quite annoying when people use "literally" incorrectly. "Her head literally blew off." Really? I would have loved to be there.
Now that you know, try to notice it. It happens too often, but gets a few laughs out of me.
Can't...stop...laughing...
Great Memo Mar! I love to complain! At the moment I can't think of any other mis pronounced words, but I am at work, so I am sure they will come.
Jen: I am literally exploding with happiness that you commented on my blog.
Julie: You probably need a good laugh.
Wonderkitty: The best mispronunciations, misspellings, and grammar faux pas happen at work. Hands down.
Would "meMARandum monday" be too clever? Think it over and get back to me.
Post a Comment