02 April 2008

Cuddle Up With a Giant Microbe

Two weekends ago Ben and I ventured out to the Clark Planetarium at Gateway to nerd it up at the IMAX movie called “Sea Monsters 3D.” It was educational, interesting, and less than 40 minutes so I could sit through it comfortably without having to use the restroom halfway through.

In true nerd fashion we arrived early so we decided to slum around the gift shop for a few minutes. Among playing with the ultra-strong magnets, deciding that I did not want a sucker with a scorpion in it, and wondering what I might see through the HUGE $1,200 telescope, I was also secretly looking for anything pink and soft that a certain daughter-to-be might one day suck on and wave around in a frantic excitement.

Then I saw this:

It was pink…and soft…and had sort of a cute face. But wait…what is it? Why is a pink snake being sold at the Planetarium? Turns out, as indicated by its tag, it’s Syphilis.

Yes, the Clark Planetarium has taken it upon themselves to not only market this STD as a stuffed animal for children, but to portray it as a fuzzy, cuddly, cute disease. Just as toy makers would have you think a bear is safe to hug, Syphilis has made its big break on to the scene as something you’ll actually want in your bed.

7 comments:

Natalie said...

I have always wanted to say, "I have Syphilis". I should go and buy one.

Jen said...

I bet you could find the real form of Syphilis just down the street on the Gateway Theatre chairs!

Beau Sorensen said...

Where's gonorrhea?

chiggidy said...

serioulsy disturbing. i am leaving it to you to write the company and inform them of their seriously overlooked (and unfortunate) naming of said item.

Stephanie said...

oh dear. please dont buy your infant an std.

ps my mom said you guys got kicked out of their ward when the boundaries got realigned. as compensation for this loss, grace and i are looking into making you an "honory nielson."

and yes, the butter knife/rag combo is brilliant

mommy dearest said...

My daughter Laura had to give a oral report in the 7th grade on STD's. Too bad she did not have this soft visual aid. Instead she gave her report on the following
Gentle Herpes
Gommorah and
Public Lice

The weanie teacher who was too chicken to give the lesson himself did not correct her.

Later as a Junior in high school she started reading Jane Austen. In an attempt to use all the new vocabulary words she learned she noticed that Austen's characters do not exclaim, but the ejaculate. She used this word in English class in casual conversation and was met with looks of shock and muffled giggles. Oh the joys of raising the young and innocent.

Jodi said...

Are you going to register for this for your baaaaaaby? It's pretty and pink.